I have a confession to make. I hear voices in my head. If you’re honest with yourself, you probably do too. I hear the voices of all my past failures, telling me I’m not good enough, that I’ll never make it, that I should give up. Do you have them too? I’d put odds that yours sounds a lot like mine probably. Does your mental bully tell you that you’re not as good as so and so? Or that you are mediocre or average at best. Well, right now I want you to tell that little voice to SHUT UP!! Ahh blessed quiet. Oh wait, in the distance can you hear a much fainter voice saying “You can be more.” Ok I want you to make friends with that little voice, it’s your new best friend.
I know someone who says he is blessed with a little inner voice that doesn’t beat him down. Instead it says, “Get the hell out of my way”. His name is Caleb Warnock. He’s a best selling author, professor, editor, mentor, and acts like a cattle prod for all struggling writers that are in his group. I would venture that one of the reasons he is so accomplished is that he doesn’t have a voice that holds him back, but one that propels him forward. My point is that while not all of us may be blessed with a mental voice that cheers for us, if you want to be happy and successful you need to make yourself one.
Has anyone ever seen the Stuart Smalley skits from the old Saturday night live? Where he stands in front of the mirror in the ugliest sweater ever and says “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and goshdarnit, people like me.” It’s hilarious, but it’s also true. If you want to change your inner dialogue you need to first hear it from your own mouth. It sounds hokey I know. When I tried it I felt like a total a$$. But trust me, you need to hear yourself say something positive about you and your goals. Please do not quote Stuart. Your own “daily affirmation” needs to be personal and something you would say. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I would say to myself “You are awesome. You can do anything. You never quit.” After a while it wasn’t so forced. Then I could say to myself anywhere, in the middle of a run, a restaurant, or somewhere I needed strength, “I am awesome, I can do anything, I never quit.”
Before every yoga practice I would tell myself “I am a fuel efficient furnace”, and I will swear that this little phrase helped me to not be paranoid about every little thing I put in my mouth, or about the speed of my metabolism. The only person who should hear it is you. So don’t feel self conscious or say this is dumb. That’s the voice we are trying to silence. No one else is making you feel stupid right now, just your own doubts and insecurities. It’s just you and the little angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other. Flick the devil off and start telling yourself how great you are. I promise that after a while, you’ll even start to believe it.