fat – Betsy Schow

How Do You Tell a Loved One They’re Fat?

YOU DON’T!

poking the stomach fat

If they are truly overweight, I guarantee you they already know.

Parents, if your kids are overweight, don’t sit them down and tell them so. I had that done to me and it scarred me for life. You are the parent, lead by example. Make healthy changes without making it a body image issue. If your kid comes to you with a concern, then you can address it. Lovingly and without judgement. You can give them ideas to improve their lifestyle, not how to fit into smaller jeans.

Spouses… beware. Trust is a delicate issue. Never tell them unsolicited that they have a weight problem. Don’t lie if asked either. Once again, subtly lead by example and work together to have a healthier lifestyle. I promise that you will create a world of issues about rejection if you start hinting about your partner’s pudge.

Friends… Oh boy. Depending on your relationship, you might have more latitude. I only offer advice if asked. But I will full on tell you if those jeans make your butt look big. But only if you ask me. Or if it would be a crime against humanity to let my bud go outside and be seen in public.

In case you didn’t catch the common theme, don’t point out other people’s flaws unasked. Work on your own. If you are asked, offer support and honesty. Find solutions, not problems.

free image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Full Body: Fleshy Confessions

If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know I am all about taking responsibility for my actions and choices. So it’s time I confess a couple of actions and their consequence.

Choice #1 – in an attempt to focus only on getting through the marathon, I ditched the scale so I wouldn’t focus on the numbers, just on how my body felt.

Choice #2 – Believing my friend when he said, you run marathons, you can eat whatever the heck you want.

Result: 12 lbs. extra on the scale. Lame.

Now I’m not fat by any means, just a little on the fleshy side. The high endurance training has just eaten through any muscled definition I had in December in my peak shape. My pants are snug, but they still fit. But when I look in the mirror, I miss seeing the contours of my waist, the slight curve in toned arms, to say nothing of a non saggy bum.

So no excuses. I know exactly what to do. Drag myself to the gym for weight training 3x a week. Zumba 2x and running 1x. Sunday I’ll pass out. I’m starting on a 1500 calorie budget, but I will adjust as necessary if that is too little.

I’m not in a hurry. I don’t need it off tomorrow. Or even next month. If I keep exercising and keep to the budget, the fat will go down and the muscles will go up.

I thought about taking a NOW picture for reference, but aside from my arms, it’s really hard to tell with clothes on. And as much as I love you guys, I am not stripping to sports bra and panties for y’all.

So join me, or just tune in. Either way, it will be an adventure. I’ll update every Wednesday

Today’s Weight – 154

Full Body: Losing the Pooch

There are so many names for that area between the groin and the belly button. Pooch, Bunt, Kangaroo Pouch, etc. For women who have previously born a child, it can be puffy and one of the toughest areas to target.

But could the way you’re walking be preventing those lower abdominal muscles from strengthening — creating a nice vacation home for fat? Two common forms of posture for standing and walking, is hips tucked in or booty hanging out. That would be the first picture and the fourth picture.

When you walk and stand in the number one position, hips tucked in, your lower abdominal muscles engage and tone in a smaller straight alignment to the sacrum of the spine. Over time, these muscles will tone and squeeze out the fat between the layers of muscles.

Now go to the booty out picture in number 4. By sticking your butt out, you are not tightening you core muscles, you are actually puffing them out. The muscles can build and form in almost a convex curve as opposed to a straight tight fiber bundle. The fat then adheres and follows the shape — allowing for a more bulbous front then most of us would like.

So once again, the easiest way to a better shape over time… is posture. Tuck those hips in and soon you will continue to do so without effort. It’s not an overnight correction. It will take months. But walking with your butt hanging out is like undoing all those crunches and sit ups you do every day.

Muscle Bonus: If you want to tone that lower abdomen faster, here’s an exercise for you… heels to the heavens.

After this position, comes the crunch. Leaving the middle spine on the floor, bring the shoulders and chest up slightly and get your talbone up off the floor in short bursts. A modification for this would be leaving the shoulders back and arms on the ground and just raising the legs and the tailbone. Hence raising your heels to the heavens.

Chubby Wubby

I’m a wee bit concerned. My 5 year old is running around calling her sister chubby wubby. In a very cute and nice way of course. But still, I worry. Where is this coming from? TV? Or worse, my own preoccupation with fat?

I’m hoping it’s not the latter. I have tried hard not to bemoan my own “chubby wubby” rolls in the company of small kids. But this plays to my bigger fear, of having weight obsessed kids. It made my life miserable from about 12 yr old on. I don’t want that for my children. I want fit, healthy, happy kidlets- no matter the size or shape

I was about to sit down and have the chat about fat with the 5 yr old when I heard it. The gummy bear song on her iPod. The lyrics of which are “chubby wubby funny looking gummy bear”. Aha! The culprit was found

In an effort to avoid giving the kids my issues, I very nearly introduced it to her unnecessarily. Apparently one can be a bit too over vigilant. In the future I will just try to be easy breezy about it as I can.

The Long Run: Compare and Contrast

It’s that time again. the long run. Today is even a little longer, at least in the blog sense. I have already blogged about this topic today on a blog which I am a weekly contributor to. That post is about playing the Compare Contrast game against other people. You can check it out here if you’d like. Saturday So What: Compare and Contrast

For this post I want to shift the focus on playing the Compare Contrast game with yourself. This topic came up while I was visiting my sister this week. We were talking about my weight loss success and her lack thereof. A little background might be required. Growing up, I was always the fat one of the sisters. The oldest was a skinny twig, the 2nd one was a petite little elf, the 3rd child (the one I was visiting) was my closest in age and appearance. Only 6 sizes smaller.

She’d always been smaller than me and while I was eating carrot sticks, she was shoving down Oreos with nary a stray pound to show for it. Until one day she had some health difficulties and all that bad diet karma smacked her upside the head. Or more accurately, the waistline. Since I had always been fat, I would compare myself to everyone else in the room. My sister, being newly unskinny, chose a much more dangerous foe to compare with…herself.

While I was visiting she confided that it was very difficult for her to see me wearing some of her favorite “skinny” clothes. It reminded her of a time not too long ago when she could wear them. Now she was endlessly frustrated that she was not the same person or size she used to be.

I told her the following and I gonna tell you too. “You can never again be who you were.” For good or bad, we are all constantly changing. My yoga teacher says Life is like a river, you never step in the same water twice.It’s true. It’s pointless to compare yourself to your high school days, For one, you were a lot younger and gravity hadn’t had time to work its nasty magic. For another, you might have gone through ginormous changes, like children. Those little things move in for 9 months and totally redecorate the front and rear end of the property.

I like to say that you can’t compare yourself to another person because they aren’t living your life. That’s why comparing yourself to your past is so dangerous. You fall into the trap of thinking that it’s okay to compare since you are living your own life. Ehhh wrong. You are not living the life you used to. You can’t be. There are new challenges and changes that were not a part of the history you might be romanticizing. I believe sometimes you have to literally view who you were in the past as a different person entirely. That person doesn’t have your current stresses, or health problems.

The only thing we can do is the best with what we have in front of us. Right now, for my sister, it’s trying to be healthy, fit, and following a dietary budget. There are a few funky aspects to her health that seem to be preventing any weight loss, but in the meantime she is doing what she can. That’s all we can ever do. It is not failure to grow and change from what we once were. We can’t slow down the wheels of time. Your 40 year old self will not look like your 18 year old self -ever. Even if you’re Heidi Klum. With any luck we get a bit wiser as time marches on too. And have better hair.