rant – Betsy Schow

De-sensitivity Training for the Zombie Apocalypse

Be forewarned. I am in a ranty mood today. Ranted on my other blog too. Ranting is good for the soul :p

Unless you’ve already hidden yourself in a bomb shelter, you probably are aware of the so called Zombie Apocalypse. The rash of odd cannibal stories in the news. The homeless guy eating the face off another man in Florida. The Canadian Pornstar Psycho that killed his lover, taped it, did awful things to him post mortem, then ate him and mailed pieces all over Canada and uploaded the video of the whole thing on the internet.

It’s the last instance that disturbs me to the core. Not mainly the acts described above. While horrifying and unconscionable, it’s still just one psycho. No, what keeps me up at night is what happened after.

A high school teacher in Canada thought it would be a good idea to screen this psycho’s little pornagraphic snuff film for his students. The fact that young minds were subjected to the atrocities that this man committed is horrible. Even worse, were the students reactions themselves.

After watching the killer perform sex acts on the corpse, eat him, then dismember him, one student said, “It was bad… yeah. But I’ve seen worse in the movies.”

AHHH! What the heck? What are we saying when the movies are showing things equal to these real life horrors. And worse, that these kids cannot emotional tell the difference between watching a scripted show with red cornsyrup and CGI, and a real psychopath killing a real person who had a real soul with a real family.

So people, don’t spend your time worrying about the Zombie Apocalypse. If this de-sensitivity to violence continues, we will have much bigger problems to worry about.

The Incredible Shrinking Catwoman

I warn you ahead of time. This is a rant.

I read an ABC News story yesterday about radical star diets for the roles they play. The one featured was about Anne Hathaway, the new Catwoman. I have always loved Anne Hathaway in the past because she looked more like a real girl as opposed to a stick puppet. However, to prepare for her roles as Catwoman and an ill girl in Les Miserables, she has at one point dropped her caloric intake to 500 calories per day, and puts 5 hours a day in at the gym.
“The Catwoman suit. It was a psychological terrorist,” she said. “… the suit, thoughts of my suit, changing my life so I would fit into that suit … it dominated my year. I went into the gym for 10 months and didn’t come out.” -Anne Hathaway Allure magazine

Why?!! Why are we doing this to ourselves as a society? Think of some of the past greats. Liz Taylor… Marilyn Monroe. They were women, not barbies. Let’s look at Julie Newmar who played Catwoman in the 1966 movie.

Girl had some curves.

Next up we have Eartha Kitt.

A little slighter than the last

Onto Michelle Pfiffer

No real curves to speak of. Very slender waist.

Lets go to Anne Hathaway in a recent photo shoot to promote the movie, Dark Knight Rises

She’s got some cleavage, I’ll give her that. You can’t have a heroine these days without a nice rack. But where did the rest of her go?

Here’s one of her the year before

Gorgeous. Normal.

The promo picture of her is beautiful. Don’t get me wrong. But the effort to maintain that body is completely insane and unsustainable. Yet she will be frozen in place forever as that size in that movie. The public will not think about the long days of starving with radishes and hummus and working in the gym. We will just say, “That is beauty.”

It’s not, it’s a costume.

And who wants to put on a costume everyday for the rest of their life?

Not me. I would much rather have a little extra fluff around the edges and eat healthy, than live in the gym obssessively- ignoring every other aspect of life.

I for one wish there were a few less “costumes” in Hollywood, and a few more real people.

Facebook Faux Pas

Lately, Facebook has been driving me nuts. I decided to take a moment and post my thoughts on some good rules to follow when you’re using Facebook.
Especially if you are using it as a public figure, like an author, actress, etc.

First off, I’ve seen so many people posting big long privacy notices in an attempt to keep their pictures and their information private. Here’s a little internet tip: Once you post something on the Internet, it’s no longer private. Even if you delete it, it’s never really gone. It’s out there… somewhere. That’s why, if you really don’t want the whole entire world to see that picture of you from Friday night’s excess… don’t post it.

And in that theme, be careful what you say. Often times we spout off in the heat of the moment, but those moments can be really hard to take back. Someone may have copied and pasted, quoted, or otherwise used your words. So watch em.

In particular, hot button issues like politics and religion. Posting endless streams of propaganda against a political opponent is annoying, offensive, and oftentimes just plain incorrect. It’s my personal opinion the FB is not really the right forum for this. There’s enough spin on the news networks without adding it to FB. In particular, with elections coming up. A sure way to alienate friends. I will admit to unfriending more than one person after 20 daily political status updates.

FB can be a powerful marketing tool. That being said, it is not our personal infomercial. If you treat it as such, what are people going to do? Same thing we do with real commercials, change the channel. Use self promotion sparingly, like a garnish as opposed to the main dish.

A personal pet peeve of mine? Telling everyone how great you are. In every post. How your own book makes you crack up. Or cry. Or even worse… Regularly quoting bits of fan mail that claim you’re a better author than JK Rowling. If the work is good, it will stand for itself. You don’t need to toot your own horn day and night. Your lips will get tired.

Be genuine. Be yourself. Be aware that other people having things to share too. Comment and participate in their lives as well. In the end, if you’re dismayed about a post gone wrong, nobody liking your status, or feeling overwhelmed — remember that’s it’s just Facebook. Not rocket science. In the end what matters most are things in your life that are offline. Your kids, spouse, family… You know, you’re real life. 😉

PS. Emoticons are a necessary evil ;p

50 Shades of Ranting

One of these days I will do a little more research before I buy a book. In this case I didn’t. So today this post is a rant in the guise of a review for 50 Shades of Grey.

Some of you are probably like, I think I’ve heard that name before. Others are probably like, Oh… that book. Well, last week I was in the first group. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to what was going on, just that I’d heard it was being made into a movie and it was Twilight Fan fiction. So when I saw it on the table at Costco, I thought I would see what the buzz was about. There’s an innocuous looking gray tie on the front cover. Sheep’s clothing people.

The first 3 chapters were torture. Absolute torture. It was forced, stilted, and generally made me want to run back to Costco for a refund. Terrible writing, but I persevered because millions of fans can’t be wrong right? Well, I suppose that’s a matter of taste.

I was expecting vampires, I was not expecting straight up S and M. I skimmed through the parts that I wouldn’t show my momma. But still I was drawn in. Why? I have no clue. The writing was very basic, the character’s personalities were swiped wholesale from twilight, and there were no paranormal elements at all. Just fifty shades of screwed-up soap opera-ness. This absolutely shouldn’t have worked. She took the very worst parts of Twilight (whiny girl who think’s she ugly even though she’s hot, rich overprotective guy who thinks he unredeemable) and beat them like a dead werewolf. Yet, I kept turning the page because I still wanted to know if the power of love could transcend a messed up start.

Would I recommend this book or the series, heck no. If you choose to, be forewarned that it has mooey X rated parts. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I wanted to move past this and on to the rant. Content aside, this series has sold 10 million copies. My jaw is on the floor right now. It boggles the mind. It’s right up there with Jersey Shore being one of the most popular TV shows.

Part of me (the author part) is enraged that this… stuff… becomes bestseller material. I have friends whose work is clean, smart, and emotion evoking. Their writing craft makes this looks like a high school essay. So I’m indignant on their and quite frankly my behalf.

Other part of me, the non-judgemental part, says that this work clearly has value. Just like Twilight is not a masterpiece in the literary world, they both tapped a vein that resonated with the public. People love LOVE these books. Don’t ask me why, but they do. And isn’t that really what it’s about? Drawing people in with you story, making people care about what happens to your characters.

I think as an author, we can get especially snobby about good writing and using pretty words. Some literary writers look down on mass market paperback writers or romance writers, thinking their style is ordinary and unintelligent. Yet, this seems to be what the general non-english major public wants to read. To lose themselves in a story without be belabored by big words and artsy metaphors. Quick and light.

So can I really condemn this book and others like it as being subpar horrible pieces that should be burned? No, it may not be to my taste, but clearly others love it, so the authors must be doing something right.
And as much as I want to shake my head at it, E.L James is laughing all the way to the bank with her million dollar paychecks.